Saved by a Stranger

Posted on December 12, 2012

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I found myself, yet again, sobbing in the small room to a total stranger.
Or rather sobbing to myself, inside myself.
Outside of myself, spilling my mind all over the room.
It just has to come out wherever it is.
Is it in me? Or is it me?
The kind of sobbing that is to be physically sick.
Am I actually dying?
The room is ‘safe’. Nothing sharp. Nothing dangerous. Not even a pair of earrings.
This is where I can not physically harm myself but can feel free and ease the pain by opening the lid ever so slightly to allow the strangling of my mind to seep out.
No blood this time. Not on my fists from hitting anything. Not on my wrists.

The Samaritan sit’s quietly, patiently, not talking. Not judging.

It has to come out, once the watery taste in the mouth comes, there is no going back.
The Samaritan tells me. ‘It’s ok’.
The only thing now is to go ‘through’.
Winston Churchill once said ‘ If you are going through hell…keep going’.
Undeniably this was a reference to his own suffering with Black Dog – my own Black dog is currently sleeping but I have a feeling he will awake soon . .
You know, the season to be jolly?
Paint the smile on, lose your sense of self once more in your families expectations and assumptions bubbling ferociously beneath the surface.
Paint your lips red, wear something that sparkles and have a glass.
That will trick them.

Written by Gem.L.Bell, my high functioning successful best friend and a key contributor to The Truth.

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Posted in: The Truth