The Kindness of Strangers

Posted on January 21, 2013



This photo is from the 2006 film, Beauty in Trouble. Set between the devastation of a flood and the safety of a private swimming pool, “Beauty in Trouble” uses the changing moods of water as both metaphor and frame for the infinite adaptability of human emotions.

I’ve not even seen it, but I want to now. When I googled ‘Kindness of Strangers’ a varying selection of images came up and this one caught my eye. Reviewed in the New York Times, the headline was ‘Kindness of Strangers’.

My kindness of strangers story is somewhat different. But like the film Beauty in Trouble, it also involves potential romance.

My brief foray into online dating at the end of last year produced an assortment of suitors for whom I dished out my number to, to see if i’d found a catch. I even went on a date with one of them (MMA guy) the other Sunday. MMA guy was cool, but not for me. I’m not looking for someone that still smokes bongs.

Never mind a needle, out of the haystack I found a rough diamond – let’s call him FIT GUY.  His profile wasn’t screaming boyfriend material, but certainly PHWOR material. Enough holiday photos to demonstrate a torso you could get lost on, and a face SO cute I was willing to push my search for the father of my children to one side for a moment and just keep my options open. After all girls, we’re only human.

It’s just interesting to compare the two situations I’m in.

Situation 1. The Great Love of my Life came back into my life for a fleeting moment, all wanton promises and fantasies of our future. Swept up in the romance of it, he did good for a few days, until he was due to visit me, then massively backed off, his signature trademark. Perhaps in the knowledge that he struggles when it comes to me because of his Aspergers it is almost understandable, forgivable even that he might be overwhelmed by his feelings for me and wanting it to not consume him has put some emotional distance between us; but its worth noting judge and jury that I’m laid up here in bed following an operation. We last spoke Saturday on skype when he apologised and said maybe we need to slow things down. He said he’ll call me later on that evening for a chat, and now it’s Monday and i’ve not heard from him since.


Situation 2.

FIT GUY. I’ve yet to meet him, but for around 4 or 5 weeks now we’ve been chatting on Whats App, pretty much daily. We’ve spoken on the phone twice and tried to meet a couple of times. I’ve always kept our plans loose as wasn’t sure I was quite ready to meet him – and particularly whilst laid up in bed post-operation my mood swings have been pretty hideous and i’ve not felt particularly date worthy. Every time we’ve failed to meet he’s been cool. He’s passed all the ‘is he an uptight bastard’ tests, the ‘is he a weirdo’ tests, and ‘will he be a demanding pain in the ass’ tests. He doesn’t always reply to me straight away – this is good. It shows he has a life and isn’t attached to his phone. He isn’t on facebook. Equally good. For a Web Developer this is particularly interesting. He doesn’t follow the mould. Still, I might pop his name into facebook just to check he’s not living a double life.

I learned recently to try and find out your online dating beau’s surname as soon as possible so you can google them and check they’re not registered on

A friend of mine recently thought to google their online date, and on page 1 can you believe there was a link to a Report Your Ex profile page for the exact person she was just about to go on a date with. Check it out, its hilarious! Imagine you were about to go on a date with this person and then you find this report on him. Talk about close shave!

Anyway, back to the kindness of strangers.

FIT GUY, who I’ve never met and who doesn’t owe me anything, we have no relationship history, we barely know each other, has provided me with more due care and consideration whilst i’ve been off work in recovery than most of my friends. Especially in comparison to THE GREAT LOVE.

I spoke to FIT GUY on the phone last night for an hour and a half. I didn’t even notice the time passing. And we’ve bantered on Whats App since as well.

Just saying.

Posted in: Journal, Random