I need a simple uncomplicated screw

Posted on February 17, 2013



But I don’t know where to get it from.

Whilst I wait for things to work themselves out with THE GREAT LOVE I needed a distraction, and thought I was cultivating something with FIT GUY from POF but we only met once and that fizzled out and didn’t go anywhere. It could still rear it’s head actually, but I don’t feel like I can chase that one right now. He was a lovely guy, really fit – just like in his pictures and I did fancy him, which is almost rare for me, but I don’t think he fancied me. Plus he and I were really different in many ways – but that’s kind of why I thought it would make for a perfect fuck buddy situation.

So I’m short on someone to screw and its annoying me. I don’t want to get laid from someone from my past (like my CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD ex boyfriend who I slept with on and off for pretty much 8 years after we broke up) – I want new flesh, someone fresh to sink my hungry teeth into. It’s not longer about romance, I have primal needs now that need seeing to and I feel like the old tried and tested methods need a revamp. Getting high ain’t an option, online dating isn’t working as I never fancy anyone (who in turn fancies me – GRRR. What is wrong with these people) and I’m seriously reconsidering Adult Friend Finder but that’s not massively different from online dating. It’s all either desperados, dick heads or dice men (ie they’re in it for the thrills and not much else, like respecting the person they had the thrills with). And this chatting to someone cultivating a relationship lark, and its all promising and then you meet and they don’t fancy you or you don’t fancy them is a little bit tiresome, and after a while it can be a teensy bit demoralising. Even though I accept this is totally only human nature and what you’re letting yourself in for. But I happen to think I’m fairly attractive – not perfect – but I’m relatively well groomed, I am charismatic and charming etc – but just the other day I thought to myself about getting Botox, a nose job and my teeth whitened, wondering if my photos were really misleading or something when FIT GUY from POF didn’t end up fancying me as much as he’d thought he would. Time to stop online dating me thinks!

Despite the tonality of this post I’m actually a fairly old fashioned gal at heart and the reason I haven’t slept with anyone since my MUSIC PRODUCER ex boyfriend (only put caps there because I think that’s how I’ve referred to him on this blog – him being a music producer isn’t worthy of caps per se)… is because I’m scared of having a shit shag. I really really am. I’ve not had a shit shag in years – YEARS (worthy of caps) – and I’d like to keep it that way. I’d also like, if i’m super super honest about this, THE GREAT LOVE to be the person I am next intimate with. Ideally, in a hollywood rom com sense i’d never sleep with anyone else again and me and THE GREAT LOVE would just simply be able to make things work, get married in some crazily alternative way and have an amazing life together till we die; but that’s unrealistic.

Back to reality, I feel like I need to put myself out there and find other possibilities at the moment. Sleeping with THE GREAT LOVE right now might not be the best idea – even though its one i’m thinking about on an almost daily basis. But with him its never that simple. I can’t just booty call him, we don’t operate like that. And i’m in a principled place with him at the moment, even though its killlllllllllllllling meeeeeeeeee.

I think I might also need to know that I can have amazing sex with someone that isn’t MUSIC PRODUCER ex boyfriend, THE GREAT LOVE or I CAN’T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD: the three guys most significant to me sexually in my 20s. And i’m now 33 – I need something new to think about / refer to sexually. Someone sensual, open minded, in control but also willing to submit when I need them to. Someone who gets aggressive, versus tactile, who is playful, likes to use the mind as part of the whole act, and thinks foreplay is more important than anything else. Who gets that foreplay can be the shit that sizzles your dynamic before you’ve even touched.

So where can a girl get a smart and sexy fuck buddy when she’s uber fussy and only fancies certain specific types? I just don’t do normal blokes. I don’t do hairy blokes. A bit on the chest is obviously okay. And most white guys are ruled out (the above three excluded – hmm maybe that’s why). I like someone with a bit of an edge, someone who is a little bit foreign like me, and who doesn’t like barbies or get hung up on silly things sexually or physically, like ‘only liking girls with big tits’ or  ‘only liking skinny girls’. I’m neither skinny, fat, have big or small tits, and like every normal woman I have cellulite and bits i’m conscious about and I don’t need someone to make me feel even more conscious about them! Oh – and if you like me too much, I find it suspicious. It’s a massive turn off.

So where can I find this person?

I want to NOT be writing this blog post. YES-SER-EEEE!

Posted in: Journal