Happy Anniversary…

Posted on February 18, 2013


DMZ 2nd Birthday Bash

So the anniversary of the day me and THE GREAT LOVE met is coming up, and after six years of false starts, intensity of feeling, fear of admitting how we felt, and then overcoming that fear but freaking out about it all, I have written him a letter, which I’ll probably never send but wanted to write anyway…


Six years ago something great happened – I was in a crappy mood, subsequently forced to take my flatmate’s spare Nine Inch Nails ticket, got accidentally mashed for the first time in a really long time and ended up at DMZ’s 2nd Birthday. My first ever proper dubstep night.

As soon as I walked in and scanned the room I thought who’s that tall guy with all the hair looking at me and then five hours later i’m convinced you’re coming home with me only you cock block yourself by saying you’d rather see me again, which made me think to myself  ‘he must pick up a lot of girls in dubstep clubs’ so I then defensively cock block both of us for a really long time for some seemingly justified reason that I can’t bare to think about anymore!

That night could have been like all the other great nights, now in the graveyard of my brain, but I’ll never forget it. From the weird familiar feeling as we were first chatting… to the kissing and slow dancing… and actually just the general intensity of the whole thing that made me leave that night thinking i’d just been reminded of what it’s like to feel something for someone. Both sets of friends probably just thought ‘there they go again getting off with someone in the club’ and I can bet none of them would have thought we would be here six years later trying to figure it out. 

What we will end up being remains to be seen but know this:  the you and me thing is something that will forever be etched on my mind as nothing other than a wholeheartedly significant contribution to the person I am now. I don’t always express it but you challenge me 100% to think and act differently about lots of things, and I am definitely a better person for it. Whilst it’s been emotional and we’ve been less than ideal with each other I’ve come to know myself better than I ever could have and only hope its the same for you.

So I wanted to mark this date because it’s really significant to me, and let you know that whatever happens between us, this date is ours.

I know I’ve doubted your intentions in the past and give as good as I get – so this is to say, despite all that stuff (most frustratingly the cock blocking, much to my own detriment) I only see positive in ‘us’ and cherish everything we’ve had so far, from the sublime to the challenging.


Posted in: Letters