110% full steam ahead

Posted on July 6, 2013


Me and The Pilot, are moving at an incredible, and slightly alarming, rate. So much so that I know I’ve made personal growth progress, because the old me would have gone off him already.

Here are the reasons why the old me would have been turned off:

1. He doesn’t filter what he says: he suffers from verbal dihorrea ALOT.

2. He texts me ALL THE TIME. But to the point where if I don’t hear from him in a few hours I start to notice… notice almost to the unhealthy point of missing his messages. Even though I moan to my flatmate he messages me too much.

3. He’s not into the same music as me.

4. He doesn’t dress like people who are into the same music as me dress.

5. He has only recently come out of a relationship, which would usually signify massive ‘rebound’ potential for me, thus putting me off. Especially when he is acting so keen. I prefer someone with a little more emotional control, usually. Being overly keen suggests a sort of co-dependency thing which I find massively annoying. Especially when I can start seeing myself feeling it too!

But there are a million reasons why I like this guy, and am willing to enjoy his company whilst he’s here. I’ll share with you five reasons:

1. I like him as a person: we are friends. I know I have only technically met him four times in my life, but we clicked the minute we met and now I’ve gotten to know him there are even more things I am discovering we have in common. If I met him when I was travelling he would be my new best friend and I have no doubt that we could easily travel together and maybe it wouldn’t even be sexual but we’d have a right laugh. He might not be 100% adult yet – there are some neuroses there, and he can be a little negative and over analytical. But its easy to take the piss out of him for it, he’s self aware and not sensitive to the point of taking it personally and acting wounded as a result.

2. He’s a proper bloke. I usually go for these artist/musician types who claim to know about feelings but really they’re just children stuck in adult bodies and aren’t massively close to growing up and being less selfish.

3. But he’s not a proper bloke in the traditional sense. He’s way more open minded, excelling in communication skills, self awareness and open in his sexuality than any normal bloke you’d meet on the street. But he’s still manly.

4. And I could get lost in the jungle or stuck up a mountain and I know if he was there he’d help us find our way. He can talk to anyone. He’s extremely confidant.

5. I like the fact that suddenly out of nowhere we have just found ourselves being in the same place – fed up of our previous love interests not delivering the goods, bored of our lives and the mundanity of routine, wanting to do something meaningful abroad and work in development, willing to volunteer until we make it happen. He will make it happen for himself too – he is that type of guy. Quite similar to how people would probably describe me, I suppose.

There are lots more reasons why I like him – but the OLD me would have listed something like:

– Really nice eyes, kissable mouth, good kisser

– Loves Music

– Has good style, is into cool trainers



So, massive gold star to me on the personal growth front. It’s taken a long time to get here… at 33 I feel I should have gotten here sooner, but I guess every person we meet, every experience we have in some way leads us here.

The Pilot is coming over this weekend to hang out – wish me luck, so that I don’t over think it, go off him, or fuck it up in some way!


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