Post-therapy realisation #1

Posted on September 3, 2013


My mind is pretty open, more so than most conventional types, and potentially slightly more open than your averagely open-minded. But it’s no where near as open as it could be.

When I was at college I often used the term ‘metaphysical’ when I was talking about, I dunno – the way I felt when I was with someone sometimes, or when I was explaining something to do with my literature A Level. I’m not sure why, I really can’t remember but what I I do remember is how clever I used to feel when I’d use the term. No one else really used it in my age group, and there was something so ethereal about the term, so alternative, so higher consciousness.

The term now holds so much more meaning in the greater scheme of life, but on reflection some 15 years later I do rather like how I had always loved the term, and how it had seemed so relevant to the way my brain worked and the understanding I had of the universe back then, even though I had barely scratched the surface of its meaning.

My post-therapy realisation today, was that my relationship with an inadvertent ‘catalyst’ – a friend (who i’m going to keep anonymous for now because I think we fell out), has been the trigger for pushing me down a very adventurous and intriguing path.

You see, this friend is quite hard to be a friend with sometimes – and when I’m finding it a challenge, and i’m not getting what I want from them, I start to question the meaning of life a little bit; particularly recently, I’ve found myself turning my attention to the universe. I suppose to seek to find some kind of meaning in it all, this little thing call life – to understand more, to seek more and hopefully ye shall find. That’s kind of thing.

I appreciate it takes a special kind of person to have this sort of effect on you.

My friend and I both think quite deeply about science, quantum physics, theology and philosophy – and we have a slightly freaky connection – I’d almost say a psychic one. You know how that goes sometimes, right? We might not speak for ages, and then they’ll be in my head and it will turn out we’re thinking of each other at the same time. We weave in and out of each other’s lives, not based on coincidences but seemingly meaningfully. Like our paths are destined to keep crossing, until we’ve helped each other complete the puzzle.

So ironically when this person frustrates me and we stop talking for a while – a not very adult thing to do I accept-  I end up wondering what it all means, pushing my own boundaries into exploring the things I don’t yet understand.

And so I realised – as I was walking away from the CCPE (Centre for Counselling and Therapy Education) earlier, that if this friend wasn’t in my life, inconveniencing me with their erratic and unconventional behaviours and frustrating the hell out of me with their questionable friendship sometimes – I wouldn’t actually be expanding my mind, exploring the hidden depths and universal understanding that metaphysics can offer.

I’d just be down the pub.
Having the same conversation about metaphysics that I had when I was 16, probably.

Then guess who called just as I got home?


Posted in: Journal