Welcome back… (to myself, on my own blog)

Posted on August 30, 2014

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I’m back.

In London, that is.

And back on this blog. I feel I need to acknowledge that, having written relatively consistantly here for the last (nearly) two years. Two years in October. 

I guess I needed to take a time out. 

The three months I just spent in Kenya were three of the most awesome, life changing, life affirming months I’ve ever had. So much great stuff came out of it, and I feel more confidant than ever professionaly and am so excited for the future. I can’t wait to talk more about it.

But I also slipped into a dark depression. I came outta nowhere too. Although perhaps not surprisingly given the emotional state I was in in earlier this year. But it’s disappointing, when I went away feeling so good.

I think it was the isolation that triggered it. I was living in a beautiful place, a 1950s crumbling, vintage hotel. With – and I must just say this – the most amazing friendly staff I’ve ever met. In the most incredibly beautiful grounds you’ll ever see, overlooking tea fields.

I thought I could live there forever.

But the set up caught me in ways I just could never have anticipated.

Without meaning to, I lost my ability to write – I was working 9am to 9pm most days, and by the weekends was heading off on various escape missions to see and do things that took me away from my week day head. But it escalated, and in the end I couldn’t get away from that headspace, and in time I slipped back into a dark negative place that filled me with thoughts that no person needs to think about it.

The few days before I left, I found my voice again. And the writing just flowed outta me. At least I have depression to thank for that. I’m going to post them now and back-date them on this blog.

Thanks to someone in my online social network I was inspired this morning to start sharing my feelings again, so thank you Brendon.

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