A conversation with Temptation…

Posted on October 19, 2014

1


Me. Xx

Him. Hello. That was nice. X

Later..

Him. How are you?

Me. Am good. Been thinking about you.

Him. Me too.

Me. It was nice seeing you.

Him. Yeah you too. Not weird.

Me. Not weird at all.

Him. I know. It never is though.

Me. Was good. The politics connection is weird though ha.

Him. Yep.

Me. Am looking forward to hearing all about it. There wasn’t enough time to properly take in what you what saying, but a conversation for another time.

Him. Yeah please. Next week, no?

Me. Yeh okay… sounds potentially like a plan.

Him. It is a plan. Is it a good plan?

Me. If it works for you, then definitely.

Him. Good. I’ll be there whilst you pack.

Him. I will make it so difficult for you, just FYI. Distraction.

Me. I won’t leave it all till the last minute then.

Him. Good idea.

30mins later…

Him. I’m so sick. Need hugs.

Me. Can’t wait to give you a big squeeze. Ha, that sounds funneeeeeey.

Him. Ha do you want to rephrase?

He then proceeds to share some work related news with me.

Him. See how I made it so that you didn’t have to deal with the sexual tension by talking about work?

Me. Maybe I like the tension 🙂

Him. The tension is deadly.

Me. I read someone recently who said to repress lust is deadly.

Him. Ha well who am I to argue with an unnamed author of a book you read?

Me. It was Osho, my current dead writer crush.

Him. Then I’ll make you a deal. Absolutely no repression on Wednesday.

Me. I am liking the sound of this no repression Wednesday.

Him. I’m not going to be able to think about anything else.

Me. Well, I am back on Sunday….

Him. If I am here, there we can do no repression Sunday as well if you want?

Me. If you blow out that party, then course. Its my birthday weekend actually.

Him. I know.

Me. Yeh yeh.

Him. Oh hush. I did. We talked about it before.

Me. How cute is this. I am looking up cinema show times to go spend my birthday with my parents.

Him. Hahahaha that’s adorable.

30mins later…

Me. Last night I woke up in the middle of an amazing dream were I had you bent over in front of me and I was licking you out. Still adorable? Good night.X

I then switched off my phone and went to sleep .

Received 9.30am the next morning.

Him. Fuck I missed you.

This conversation was never meant to go this way but I had started having sex dreams, and its like it becomes this needful lust that can’t be controlled. Plus I’d been reading Osho.

We were trying to be friends.

To anyone concerned, don’t worry I’ve not heard from him since. It’s like we both flirt with the idea then one of us comes to their senses. In this case, I think he’s probably bottled it. Either that or I’ll hear from him before Wednesday. The big question is – do I wanna go back there? I do, there’s no doubt in my mind. But do I want the repurcussions? Is this game playing what I want?

The problem is – it will always be this complicated little secret.

I’m a million miles away from wanting conventional, but I definitely want more.

He didn’t even text me to wish me a Happy Birthday on Friday. I’m no princess, but still.

Lust retreats back to its cage.

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Posted in: Journal