Knowing what you need, knowing what you want

Posted on November 25, 2014


I’ll always enjoy my own space. When i’m too much in someone’s company, I get antsy. I start to find things annoying. Silly things. The sound of them switching their laptop on every morning, to the kettle boiling, and doors accidentally slamming behind them – all whilst i’m cozy in my bed and trying to keep dreaming about mobile home caravans thank you very much (NB. ACTUAL DREAM FROM THIS MORNING.)

I also need money – at least SOME money, just enough to pay my bills and get by. And do things. Take a flight somewhere. I don’t need material things, I have plenty of clothes. But a little bit of monthly income – yup. Its kinda essential. I have been without salary now since June and i’m starting to feel it. Sure i’ve hustled, and found my way. I had a few savings, which need replacing now of course. But i’ve had adventures! And even though my moods have been temperamental and I can still feel lost sometimes, I am definitely growing. Things bother me less, than they used to. I feel more assure of myself. It’s good.

I dream of living in a house.

I want at least two bedrooms. A garden. A big open plan kitchen with lots of space to hang out whilst, I dunno, baking cheese fuckin muffins or something.

I can do all this alone, I love my own company and I have enough friends and loving family to never be bored or lonely. But sometimes I think, ooh how nice it could be to have that regular something. With someone cool. Someone to laugh with, and share similar times like when I’m with my friends who crack me up and we put the world to rights. Someone who’s got my back. And I’ve got theirs. A lovely person who’ll hear me listen to Nils Frahm every morning and then surprise me with tickets to see his live show at the Barbican.

Yeh it’s about sharing a life with someone isn’t it. Somehow I think the world would just feel more complete that way. Irrespective of how much I try and fight the mid-30s status quo.

I’d like to meet someone who wouldn’t scoff at the idea of baking cheesy fuckin muffins together. In fact, I’d like to meet someone who’d get just as excited about doing it as I am.

Whilst still managing to be utterly fuckin sexy.