That Little Taste of Happiness_A Story-ette

Posted on December 18, 2014

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When the sun’s shining, and there are banana trees and swaying palms to the left and right of you and the warm breeze is blow dying your hair as you clutch onto the back of the motorbike, and I’m thinking ‘wow, this really is the best way to travel’.

It’s that feeling of calm – of everything be relatively okay in the world. Of knowing we can experience shit and go through shit and still come out the other side feeling hey! I’m okay!

Accomplishing something great. Like launching a new company. Fulfilling a life-long dream and ambition. Especially after not always knowing if I was good enough, or literally NOT feeling good enough – for years actually – drudgingly dragging myself from one professional experience to another, wondering ‘when will it end?’ And its ended. Smile.

Not waking up, or walking, or talking, or ignoring phone calls or emails because I feel so god damn heavy, weighted with the burden – feeling okay now each day. That in itself feels like a goddamn miracle. I’m alive!

Deciding to walk home, to my apartment in Kenya, only a 40 minute walk – it’s nothing. And the sun’s beating down, and i’m feeling the heat, my backs all sweaty and I know it’m probably getting burnt and it’s up hill. But I don’t care because an old man with an old plaster on his head is pushing a bike up hill next to me, and this bike is laden with things, all tied down with string, and he’s old, yet he still takes the time to talk to me and find out my story before hopping onto his bicycle and cycling away.

Having a hot blind date on the horizon. Who just emailed me. After a day of excitement, not knowing, wondering, if.

Sitting on my balcony in the 30 degree heat, one last time. Writing this post as the sun sets over the rift valley.

Seeing 5 young people walk away with businesses, after years of unemployment, and ideas. Building relationships with two amazing guys who will be looking out for our team of youths after I have gone.

Believing in myself.

Knowing my worth.

Feeling like I can do anything.

 

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Posted in: Journeys