Another week in the life of an internet dating singleton

Posted on May 10, 2015

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This update is much jucier. I’ll keep it sweet.

I went on the infamous second date with the guy who a year later got back in touch by adding me on facebook. Apparently i’d popped up on his feed as ‘someone he might know’, weird given we don’t share any mutual friends.

I was initially hesitant, but then I figured, why not? Sure – its pretty bad form when something felt like a sizzle but then fizzles, quickly – and you get in touch when you’re back on the market, clearly riffling through your metaphorical black book.

But then, I didn’t feel like I was in a position to ignore two very base facts:

1. When we kissed on our ‘first’ (and only) date, there were what some might describes as, fireworks. You know, the kind where one of you says afterwards ‘We’ll we’re definitely doing THAT again’.

2. A few days prior to him getting in touch, I’d walked past the venue of said first date, and you know what? I’ve done that a gazillion times since that first date, and it’s not something I do, like ever – but in this case, a few days before he got in touch, I thought of him. I saw him in my mind standing there, like he had done on that first date, in his tweed jacket. Smoking a cigarette. Waiting for me. And i’d thought to myself ‘wouldn’t it be weird if he drove past right now’.

He didn’t drive past.

But two days later he adds me on facebook.

Weird, right?

I think it’s just a coincidence. But a good one. Because I’ve seen him twice now. And it’s been a lot of fun getting reacquainted. We made cheese together at his place the first night – fun, albeit complicated for our two sober brains. Then ended the night entwined on the sofa.

Then yesterday I got asked out for dinner by Burley Blonde, from my last post. Let’s now rename him and call him Devon.

Devon is the perfect guy.

He looks like someone you could take home to your parents. Whereas, Sofa Guy – I dunno. It’s not that he isn’t a nice guy – a little mixed up, but who isn’t? But he’d need to tone down the stories of some of his fun times and my parents are super innocent and very straight line. Sofa Guy, has been having a little TOO much fun, if ya get ma drift.

We get along as he’s going through a similar dry patch as I am, and its nice to hang out and have sober dates together. Local Guy is definitely fun but he has a dysfunctional childhood that he’s processing, a divorce to contend with and two gorgeous kids who live overseas. And he’s only just turned 32. The last three years for him have been messy, addictive and turbulent and whilst some of the stories are insane and amusing at the same time, it’s a world away from where I’m at in my life right now. But hey, who cares about my parents? I certainly don’t intend to be introducing anyone to anyone anytime soon. If at all.

Devon on the other hand – he’s different. Clearly a stand up guy. The sort who would drive to the end of the earth and back just to be with you. And actually, in a shorter version of that he is. From Devon to London. To take me on a date. On Thursday.

*smiles*

I said I wanted to be single and have fun whilst I’m setting up my business – it wasn’t feeling that way for a while, but its now certainly starting to get that way. I think the biggest thing i’ve learned this last year or two whilst i’ve been out of a relationship – it’s know you’re worth. And don’t settle for anything less.

And don’t confuse really good tactile yet animal sex for love. Love is not played out in the bedroom. Love is played out in real time, not via words, but good old fashioned values and actions.

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Posted in: Journal