The Truth About ‘Potential’

Posted on May 30, 2015


You hear it a lot when it comes to dating and relationships – has it got ‘potential’? We all do it don’t we. Ask each other that when one of us meets someone new.  And in many cases, that’s what we’re looking for. Something, or someone, with potential.

Potential for what though?

Does it have to always be about marriage and kids? Happily ever after?

I don’t believe in a happily ever after, and I don’t know if I will want marriage or kids until I have a spent a considerable amount of time knowing whether this potential someone has the potential to be someone I’d want to even share that with. It feels like such a foreign concept to me right now that I’m actually fantasising about being a glamorous 40-something year old single mother with an adopted mini-me.

I can see me now in 5 years or so time, running my own business, enjoying many a meaningful something or another with whomever I have chemistry with, for however long that lasts – short or otherwise – whilst effortlessly bringing up a special little someone all by myself. Without a wink of sleep.

Which is why its a fantasy. Ha. But its a nice one.

So then what is potential if it’s not a thought designed to instil comfort? And why do I see it with The Great Love? I’m not quite sure what I mean either when I say I feel like ‘it’ has the illustrious (and elusive) POTENTIAL.

Do I mean it has potential to be something great? Something meaningful.

It’s that already.

Or what about it having the potential to be sublime?

Perhaps I mean me and The Great Love have the potential to show each other what it means to truly love.

And how does one measure it’s reliability or truth, this potential, when there are no guarantees?

Is it instinctual? A gut feeling? Or calculated, determined by qualitative measures such as ability to get on, communication, chemistry and general outlook at life or wanting the same things? I assume these are the factors people typically rely on when looking for the potential to find ‘the one’ – but then nothing in life is guaranteed, and you can feel (confidantly) these things for a person (and I have) but dynamics (and love) can change. People can change. Their goals, dreams and aspirations can evolve.

Does that also apply to the notion of inadvertently teaching about true love? Not the romantic kind, but the kind that comes from having a good relationship with yourself that means you can live your life to be the best person you could be.

Anyway, its interesting to think about.

Especially when The Great Love says to me that it’s our potential that seems so great it overwhelms him. And subsequently stops him for making me a regular in his life.

Yet ironically, I am a regular. I’m always there. I might not be physically, but i’m in his head, his heart and anything else that contributes to him striving and pushing forward to unravel what all this means between us.


Or is this already doing what it was destined to do? If my own personal growth is anything to go by (non smug comment – promise), then that’s a tonne of fucking fulfilled potential, frankly.


Posted in: Journal, Random