[Day 4] Rejection Rules

Posted on October 9, 2015

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I was walking down the street last night on my way home, and I was contemplating everything i’ve achieved in the last year.

It’s pretty mind-blowing.

If I was to reflect on this journey i’ve been on this last few years even – would any of it have happened if i’d had the one thing I thought I always wanted?

Anyone’s journey to finding love should start with the self. If you don’t like yourself how can you expect anyone else to? Equally, if you’re your own worst enemy, negative voices dominant and self limiting beliefs ruling your choices, then are you fulfilling your greatest potential?

Unlikely.

Rejection, from the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and pretty unorthodox rejection too – good old fashioned silent treatment – has pushed me beyond the boundaries of what I thought was possible.

If we play the game of Sliding Doors, and at some point in the last 8 years I’d found myself getting into a long term relationship with this guy, then would I have achieved all these incredible things that i’m privilaged to have experienced? Would I have been so miserable that I strived to better myself, and soul-search, read, watch, participate and push myself into situations that have contributed to who I am now? Possibly. But it’s highly likely the outcome would have been ever so slightly different.

And i’m quite happy with the way it’s turned out, the way is has.

Look, I know rejection sucks – that loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way back is incredibly painful – and confusing – especially when they say that they feel the same way back, and there is a look in their eyes that says you can believe every word they’re saying. But actions make the world go round. Words, as pretty and poetic as they are, simply represent unfulfilled potential.

If you’ve had your heart broken, and it sometimes feels like it might overwhelm you, then the best advice I could give would be to turn it around. Strive to be the best person you can be, and find peace with the fact that not everyone will be in your life forever. What’s their purpose? Why did they come into your life (i.e. what did you learn or receive from them whilst it was good and lasted?) and then why did they leave? What was the reason for that?

Sometimes relationships hold you back.

They distract you from your core mission.

I believe, when you’re on the right path and you’re fulfilling your potential you’ll cross paths with someone who is also at that same juncture. It doesn’t mean they’ll be in your life forever either by the way, but it means you’ll have a more nurturing experience as emotionally you’re more likely in the same place.

Meet someone prior to that, and it just creates tension. Reasons why it wouldn’t work. Maybe the guy I loved, could just see that. And had the strength to avoid getting into something that could become hard to get out of. But the weakness to indulge in the idea of a him and me from time to time.

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