What a crisis can teach you about love

Posted on May 7, 2016

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This last two weeks i’ve been in a crisis.

Firstly, it was one of those odd ones – you know when you’re thinking, is this PMS? Or am I  homesick? Like, what is WRONG with me? I knew I was being weird. My current beau, a lovely young man i’ve been seeing for around 3 months, was on the receiving end of my mood, and I was aware I was being an odd ball when he looked at me and said in his adorable Sri Lankan twang “What is WRONG with you?”

And I cried.

At first I thought I was just annoyed at him for playing on his phone, scrolling through his facebook feed, whilst I was trying to have a serious conversation about “us”. I was being needy for some reason. I needed to know how he felt about me only he couldn’t deal with it and would do anything but avoid this conversation.

So, I figured if he’s trying to avoid the serious conversation then he just doesn’t really feel all that much for me; so then I was really mad when the thought came into my head that he is probably avoiding the conversation because he’s planning how to finish things with me. It felt like things were dead between us. Like it was only a matter of time.

I wasn’t sure if I was:

a) Paranoid

b) A Girl

c) Onto something.

So I buried what I was really thinking in true English fashion, and continued to run with the fact that I was just ‘having some bad PMT’.

I went home incredibly sad, heavy on the shoulders and teary. Before he left I burst into tears again and the words ‘fuck i’m such a twat, but I think I’m just really homesick!!’ left my mouth. He hugged me hard, told me that maybe I could just go home for a visit (no possible) or Skype my family.

I went to bed thinking it was over between him and me and planned my trip back to the UK, I worked out that I could ignore him for the rest of the time I’m here (saving him the burden of having to deal with me, since he’s clearly not in love with me nor all that bothered about me anyway) and then I fell fast asleep.

By the time I woke up i’d forgotten my headspin and when he called acting all normal and cheery, I almost forgot what had happened the day before.

But then things for me, unrelated to him, got progressively worse.

I had Rs1,000,000 (a million) stolen from me. That’s around £5,000 in total. 

And I became homeless.

It’s a lot of money to my fledgling business. We don’t have huge reserves. And on top of that I was faced with 13 people in my group being homeless, threats were made toward us by intimidating people, and the women in question who took the money from me was unfurling to become the most manipulative, compulsive liar i’ve ever met.

And i’ve met a few.

I called upon my beau for support. I didn’t know where else to turn.

And you know what?

This last 2 weeks i’ve gone from being unsure about him, to feeling an extreme sense of adoration. I can’t thank him enough for his display of absolute support. He’s nearly lost his job spending time with me down at the Police station, escorting me places, being my bodyguard, calling me 5 times a day to check on me, holding me tight in the night when i’m exacerbated, being there.

He showed up when I needed him the most.

And he never once looked at Facebook on his phone. I don’t care anymore whether he can talk up the serious stuff, tell me he loves me or put his phone away when i’m in his company. He’s demonstrated the biggest display of kindness and respect when I needed it most, and for that i’ll be eternally grateful for the universe bringing him my way.

Actions speak louder than words right?

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