Love Letter to My Sri Lankan Beau

Posted on May 14, 2016



A Love Letter.

When you smile at me, I can forgive you for ANYTHING. Your smile makes me feel like i’m winning when you walk through my door.

When you touch me, I forget about EVERYTHING. Your little touches and kisses here and there make me feel like you want me, which is a lucky place for a girl to be.

I have never met someone so kind and caring and THERE for me. You put everyone first, and your friends love you. I think we could be great together as I can help you put yourself first some times.

Our romance has a beginning, a middle and an end. Here are some of my highlights:

Remember seeing me in Clique for the first time? You kept hovering by my side. I was so glad when you didn’t go away 🙂

Remember holding my hand that night for the first time? It wasn’t an effort, it was instinctual.

Our first kiss? I remember every little detail. It’s etched on my mind. It felt strange – who was this guy, with the weird name i’ve never heard before. This Cheshire Cat. Why does he get my attention with that smile?

I didn’t think we would spend this much time together, I had no clue as to who you were, but I knew just this one thing: I had to spend more time with you. And I knew whilst I could go with the flow like I often do with guys, moving in and out of it depending on where the tide turns, I knew that somehow we were going to get together. But I had no idea how or why. I didn’t think we had anything in common; and I had one or two people back in the UK who (till that moment) held my heart.

Remember feeling like there was just never enough time? When I was living in that homestay and you couldn’t come inside and I had to go home alone after spending an evening with you? It felt unnatural. It created a tension in me, and between us. It drove me crazy, actually.

Remember missing me when it didn’t make sense to? I felt it too. Your stressy texts when I wasn’t available to you, I could tell you wanted to see me all of the time. I wanted to see you too. That feeling of not even needing to talk to you even, but to simply just be with you. Then when we finally were, after so much time, so much anticipation and thinking about it, we were finally able to. And I remember sleeping in your arms like a baby. I wanted to freeze-frame that moment and stay there for a long time.

Sadly this romance has an end.

Remember that night on Ozo Rooftop? You grinned at me like a man falling in love. I saw something in your eyes, I didn’t want to mis-interpret but I thought I was seeing something real from you. I could have told you how I felt that night but I held back. I wanted to hear it from you first, and I was nervous in case I was imagining this crazy-didn’t-make-sense thing.

But it does make sense. I see it now. We are two awesome buggers and we met each other. So what’s not to love about that 🙂

Words don’t describe what a hero you’ve been to me in the last part of this story.

These words don’t do the gratitude I feel for how you’ve supported me and been there for me, any justice.

And there I was – seeking something emotional from you. I thought I wanted to hear that you loved me. Or that you were falling in love with me. But I got something sweeter. I got something amazing – at a time when I didn’t need a lover, but a best friend.

And no – not a friend with benefits, like you said. I have enough of those hah. Trust me when I say this, you are NOT a friend with benefits! I can’t walk away easily from you. I have to sadly, and I will go quietly with little fuss if I can (as much as I can manage).

Whatever my choice of goodbye, just know that I love you. And i’m not going to apologise for that.

I want you to be happy Mr Cheshan Buddhika. So keep making great choices when you next flash that smile at someone pretty! I don’t know if i’m the one for you, but you were the one for me between Jan 31st and May 20th 2016. And i’ll never forget that.

Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss xxxxxxxx


Posted in: Journal, Letters