3 Key Rules for Dating Success

Posted on September 5, 2016

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I went on my first date with a stranger in a while last night having recently ended a lovely relationship because i’m no longer in the country of said lovely person.

It’s time to move on.

I joined the app Bumble, and off I went bumbling around meeting lots of interesting men (and one or two women). I always like to keep an open mind.

Needless to say a few people sustained my interest and this last 2-3 weeks i’ve been chatting to a couple of guys who i’d say progressed to the level where i’d be intrigued to meet them.

I’ll give them new names to preserve the innocent.

Johnno is 34, very funny, easy to get on with, and quite attractive actually. Self deprecating but obviously smart and career oriented I found myself enjoying an evening with him that I thought was going to be just the 1 hour, but it turned into around 4 or 5 hours. He went in for the awkward lunge at the end, at it was super awkward, but then I did a “feel bad” guilt-kiss to make up for it, and then there was nothing guilty feeling about……..

I’ve not heard from him since though, not even a sweet little “thanks for a good night” text so i’m not sure if my kisses were as lovely as I thought his were. And i’m not really into playing games. If you had a nice time, tell me you did – don’t leave things hanging.

Whilst I was brushing my teeth this morning I had an imaginary angry conversation in my head with someone, my pseudo-relationship friend (formerly the great love) who, side note, i’ve still not heard from… and I thought to myself, it’s not difficult to have a relationship with me.

IT’S NOT DIFFICULT TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME! 

There are just 3 key rules for dating success that I think are important to me in the early days of dating:

  1. You have to be able to communicate well. No messing around being forgetful or being too busy to reply to me. Whatevs. Don’t bother trying to make me want you more by leaving me hanging. Just simple, good old fashioned regular conversation (that’s balanced between you contacting me, me contacting you) with us generally respecting each other and liking each other enough to want to stay in regular contact. And then the cherry on the top is being authentic with how we feel and being able to express that easily and when it feels right without fear.
  2. I’m looking for an ability to make and stick to plans, yet be fun/spontaneous. If you suggest we’re going to do something next week, then we don’t have to speak to each other in the lead up to the date, but when it comes around I expect you to still have that date in your front of mind, and if you can’t make it anymore or need to reschedule, that’s cool. But I’m expecting you to give me plenty of warning: and show you appreciate the situation (and grovel if it’s a bit late notice). Just show me that you’re considering my schedule/feelings. Then on top of that, if you see something cool that’s happening and immediately think of me I love to receive those last-minute invites! It keeps things fresh, fun and in the moment. And be cute. Do cute, thoughtful things. Show me you like me, and are listening to me. Without being too intense or trying too hard (see below).
  3.  Be relaxed and breezy. There isn’t a bigger turn off than someone who wants a relationship more than they actually just want me. Or someone who gets irritated when plans change, don’t go according to plan or if things don’t go their way. Sometimes when we get certain expectations in our mind we can get fixated on it, and when we show we’re disappointed or annoyed, I mean sure, that might be how we’re really feeling, but in the early days please either communicate to me what type of person you are so that I know what we’re dealing with, and demonstrate you know enough to know that relaxed and breezy is sexy. Don’t not be yourself, but don’t be uptight. That always feels passive aggressive to me,  like it’s an accumulation of things that have then led to that moment. If my time keeping is annoying you, for example, then tease me about it and let me know your boundaries so I can respect them, instead of repeatedly winding you up about it and then me seeing an outburst.

And my promise to anyone who dates me, is that i’ll also adhere to the above.

And that’s it!

It’s not a lot to ask is it?

If you also have 3 Key Rules for Dating Success, what are they do you think? Share them with if you like in the comments section!

I’ll update you next week once i’ve been on Date 2 with Marcus. We’re spending the day together on Saturday, he suggested a picnic with champagne tasting and since the weather is set to be lovely i’m really rather looking forward to this one. I’m keen to see whether my love of Prosecco could be outstamped 😉 Plus Marcus seems pretty cute.

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