I can’t believe it

Posted on October 23, 2016

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I can’t believe it. I have fallen head over heels, blindly, terrifyingly, and very quickly into something with a possible wonderful someone.

But it can’t be blindly. I don’t want it to be. I want to go in with intrepid consideration, ok perhaps a little trippin an’ fallin but into something with my eyes WIDE OPEN. I wanna see everything, every step of the way. I want to feel in control of this feeling.

What is wrong with me? My reasoning has been stolen, i’m wrapped in something intense and i’m oh so scared.

It was just a kiss!

Falling in love isn’t an easy game is it. I suppose it can be for some and they say ‘it should be easy’, but it never is with me. It’s always a hurricane, you know its coming, and you batten down the hatches and sit and wait. And sometimes it hits hard, and other times it goes off course leaving you wondering why you were so caught up in the fuss of it.

I’m right there, right now, in that moment. Caught in that blustery wind ahead of the storm. I know it’s coming, it could be on its way, i’m confidant of that. Haha! I’m confidant that it COULD be on its way, but not yet entirely convinced it’s on course – but boy oh boy if i’m honest, I reeaaaaaaally don’t want this one to go off course… …but it could. It’s vulnerable. I’m vulnerable. A sitting duck – and fuck. I’m potentially going to experience the most intoxicating delicious cocktail of wind and rain or i’m not even going to get hit by a single drop.

Fuck.

It was just a kiss.

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Posted in: Journal