Buckle in for a ride through the previous 6 months of my life

Posted on April 19, 2017

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I’ve not written on here in 5 months. Truth be told, i’ve not been able to write.

You ever slip into a black hole, grateful to breathe?

This hasn’t been depression in the classic sense. Let’s imagine a shallower, shadier breeze that lurks in the shadows. But sure, you can feel a gust from time to time.

But you know me – I like the smell of new things, and this last 6 months was nothing, if all else, a new phase in my life, sprinkled with new feelings and newer ways to deal with those trickier emotions…

And look, it wasn’t all doom and gloom. The ups were really up and whilst there were some uncertain periods in the downs but when I glance back and reflect, this strange period of my life was just a series of every day, garden variety life events which everyone goes through. This particular phase was a new experience for me so accompanying that is plenty of new empathy levels for my peers.

I started recapping the last 6 months of my life last weekend.

It turned into an essay not a post.

I have therefore categorised some of the themes and turned them into chapters which I will post every day till they are done.

Buckle in for a ride through the previous 6 months of my life.

Here’s chapters #1.

>>

CHAPTER 1

DEATH.

6 months ago to the day, it was the last day I was ever going to be 36 years old; the day before my 37th birthday. And my cousin Lynne passed away. She’d been told her cancer was terminal and that she would have around 6 months to live. A few days later, maybe a week or so, on the 16th October 2016, she went quietly, peacefully in her sleep.

It was quite a profound moment, I think i’d been waiting for that moment for nigh on 10 years, cancer, the dreaded Uncle C, being omni-present throughout. Lynne was a fighter and if she was a cat, this moment was most certainly number 9. I couldn’t sleep that evening. We had been due to catch up that week, and I had done my usual forgetful thing of not confirming a time to Skype her. I checked the clock, 3am, and turned to my phone.

Life’s short, and I needed to tell someone how I felt about them.

Want to read more about Lynne?

The Girl With The Upper Back Tattoo

Stay tuned for the next chapter tomorrow, A Micro Romance.

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Posted in: Journal, The Truth