Chapter 4. Friendships & Acquaintances

Posted on April 22, 2017

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Friendship & Acquaintances.

Friends come and go, some people come in and out of your life, and some stick around forever. Either way, when the people who matter to you drop off the radar or treat you in a way that suggests that they don’t hold that friendship as dear as you might, then it hurts.

Logging emotions for my CBT sessions forced me to notice that my anxiety levels and moods would rise and dip when the people who mattered to me, treated me poorly, basically. Bad communication, erratic behaviour, blowing hot and cold, cancelling plans or not even bothering to get in contact on the day that we’d made plans really made me have to sit up and take notice. My mental wellbeing was at the mercy of the bad behaviour of people who quite possibly didn’t really respect me or give all too many hoots for me. Not in the same way I did with them.

The only trouble is, being hyper aware of other people’s behaviour kind of made me more uptight and less chilled out about stuff than I usually would be, so I became more annoyed and aggitated than I usually would be about the quality of my friendships. For a while i’ve been observing bad behaviour and then struggling with my own desires to punish, mirror or confront people for their actions.

I tried to open up and talk to a few of the ones whom I respected the most, I confronted a couple of others, put boundaries in place with some, and simply just let the rest go. Within that mix were people i’ve known for over 15 years so that sucked. And some whom at points in our lives we were really really close. But when those really really close people don’t invite you to their wedding, and then flake on the next 3 times that you made plans to meet up, then it’s time to let go isn’t it.

Tomorrow’s chapter, Learning How To Let Go, will land same time next day. Keep an eye out!

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Posted in: Journal